Relationship with self, my mountain days, soothing words for April
Yes, I take therapy. Yes, I will never shut up about it. Now that we have that cleared out..
My therapist recently asked me a question that sent my mind for a toss - “What is your relationship with yourself?”
At first I was like, “Well I enjoy my time alone, I sometimes like to visit cafes, go for solo walks,” and all other cutesy things. She interjected, “Not by yourself, what’s your relationship with yourself?”. A few seconds passed by silently while I got lost in my thoughts. Then I smiled.
“I think my relationship with myself is more of that as a business partner.” I was surprised even while the words came out of me. Surprised not because I didn’t know this was the case, but because I hadn’t ever put it in words like that. Do you ever feel the same? Like your relationship with yourself is strictly business and professional.
“I should listen to that podcast that everyone else seems to have heard and is raving about”,
“I have to resume reading again”,
“I should start creating content asap”
There’s endless to-do lists to knock off, goals to meet, books to read. More of “I shoulds” and “I have tos” instead of “I want tos”. It’s like we’re our own business partner, constantly assembling together to discuss all matters business, productivity, necessities, lest the business fails. We fail.
You know the ironic part? We would never treat our friends, partners, family this way. We’re never so strict and severe with them. Then why on ourselves? Why can’t we be our own best friend?
So I did an exercise. I mean my therapist asked me to but hey I went above and beyond to do it. She simply asked me to explore more of this “relationship with self” theme. And I did this:
I started with asking myself 3 questions.
And I got to work. I journaled all about it. Here’s what came out:
Conclusion: I want to be my own best friend.
Problem: I don’t know where to start.
Some really interesting doubts also came up after I finished this self-prepared questionnaire.
Solution (by my therapist):
For question 1 - Since I already have the business partner dynamic existing and existing really strong with myself, I shouldn’t be worried about losing out on self-accountability or being lax with myself as a friend might. I simply need to work more on being my own friend part of it. Much, much more.
For question 2 - My internal dialogue should be my own. Nobody, including my therapist, can and should curate that for me. Explore this question more by yourself.
For question 3 - Do you see this activity as a new chapter in a new book or a new chapter in an old book? If it’s the former, you need a fresh start. Treat it like making a new friend. I’m the latter. I think I need to reconnect with the old friend I somewhere lost inside me.
While my penmanship might reflect a very chaotic vibe, which it was when I was excitedly scrawling all the hundred thoughts a minute coming to my head when doing this exercise (yes, I love doing stuff like this), I now feel the opposite of chaotic. I feel like I finally have some order, some purpose, some starting point of where to begin with healing my relationship with myself.
And if you’re like me, I hope this helps you start somewhere too. Because let’s be honest, at the end of the day we’re all just looking for a friend like us. Right? 🫂
Kodai Diaries 🗻
I took a much needed 6 day break off social media last week! It is ironic to think that I was never a person who took social media breaks before but since I started creating content on IG, I’ve been feeling such a strong need to do so.
Anyway, I spent this break in Kodaikanal. Words cannot explain how peaceful it was - the weather was pleasant (esp. compared to BLR’s deadly heat right now), the Airbnb was perfect, the skies were clear, and the sights were surely worth seeing!
I read, painted, hiked, stargazed, played with some cute doggos, saw some cuter monkeys. Perfect vacation does exist you guys!
But why do we exactly need a break from social media?
This might be a wildly unpopular opinion, especially in 2024 - I LOVE social media! Especially Instagram. Most of the times I truly, truly love my feed and am impressed by the algo that keeps showing me cool stuff. I don’t know if it’s years of me curating exactly the kind of content I want to see or just IG picking up every little cue I give it (yeah, definitely the latter lol), but in any case, the fact stands. I love using the platform.
And those for whom this isn’t the case, I think you might be partially responsible. If you keep complaining about the kind of “shit” content you see on your social media constantly, it’s literally most of the times because of the kind of content you engage with. What you see is what you get. So if you spend more time seeing bad/toxic/whatever unlikeable content, even if it is to hate on it, IG still probably takes it as your interest for the content and shows you more of it. And you’re stuck in this vicious cycle.
My point is, once you break out of it and engage (like, comment, share, etc.) with content you truly resonate with you will feel social media as a great tool to help with your life. My feed is a wonderful patchwork of self help, funny, recipes, filmmaking, and literally a hundred other interests I harbour. Really, what’s not to like?
So when you’re in a position like that, you need a break not because you’re tired of your feed but because you’re tired of the volume of it. There’s just too much good stuff. And too much of anything is bad. It makes you ungrateful and numb to many other good things, offline.
Which one are you?
Recommendations for the week
Dal khichdi is among my top all time fav comfort food - warm, spicy, delicious, nostalgic! If you want to make restaurant style dal khichdi at home this weekend, check this out! 🍲
If you like having multiple personal projects going on and want to organize them in one place (with of course some extra creativity), check this super cool idea on how to do that
April is usually a big month - the trial quarter of the new year has ended and now is the time most of us start making small or big strides. This post will help you navigate April with more confidence and heart 💗
Until next time 👋🏽
such a delightful read, so well written